At one
time or
another
all of
us have
said or
done
something
that was
contrary
to our
own best
interest,
damaging
to an
important
relationship
or just
plain
wrong.
We kind
of knew
it at
the
time,
but we
went
ahead
and did
it
anyway.
The
question
is, why?
I
learned
about
the
Seven
Dragons
from
Laurie
Skreslet,
the
first
Canadian
citizen
to reach
the
summit
of Mount
Everest.
Laurie
has
spent
many
years
living
among
the
Tibetan
people
and the
sherpas
who
guide
clients
up the
mountain.
They
have
taught
him much
about
human
nature,
and the
ways in
which
each of
us can
unwittingly
become
self-saboteurs.
The
Seven
Dragons
are
fatal
behavioral
flaws
that can
consume
your
energy
and
detract
from
your
best
efforts.
They are
based,
says
Laurie,
on lies
you have
told
yourself
—
typically
lies
that are
intended
to quell
fears
you may
have
about
your
life.
Here are
the
Seven
Dragons,
and the
false
beliefs
that
sustain
them:
1.
Arrogance
— you
are
better
than
others.
2. Self-Deprecation — you are worse than others.
3. Impatience — there is not enough time.
4. Martyrdom — you are a victim.
5. Greed — you don't have enough.
6. Self-Destruction — you will not succeed.
7. Stubbornness — you are weaker than others.
Again,
these
dragons
ultimately
emanate
from
fear —
and fear
distorts
reality.
Climbing
Mount
Everest,
Laurie
has
learned
that
when
fear
takes
over,
people
make bad
decisions
and
behave
irrationally.
When you
are
aware of
your
fears,
however,
you can
address
them,
channel
your
energy
and
adjust
your
behavior.
The
challenge
is not
to
destroy
these
Dragons,
but to
tame
them and
control
them,
because
each one
has a
positive
as well
as a
negative
aspect
to it.
Now,
let's
take a
look at
the
seven
Dragons,
and
consider
the
positive
and
negative
aspects
of each:
ARROGANCE
Remember,
the
Dragon
of
Arrogance
has its
roots in
the fear
of being
judged.
You
nourish
it with
the
rationalization
that if
judged,
you will
be found
to be
better
than
others.
But what
if you
are not?
And who
is doing
the
judging
anyway?
The
answers
to these
questions
— which
are
different
for
every
person,
depending
on their
unique
life
circumstances
— will
help you
keep
this
Dragon
at bay.
SELF-DEPRECATION
Gary
Cooper
was one
of the
most
beloved
movie
stars of
all
time,
and a
talented
actor to
boot;
twice he
was
honored
with an
Academy
Award
for Best
Actor.
Yet,
decades
after
his
death,
the
quality
for
which
Cooper
is best
remembered
is his
easygoing,
aw-shucks
demeanor.
Even at
the
height
of his
success
and
popularity
he
exemplified
humility,
which is
the
positive
aspect
of the
Self-Deprecation
Dragon.
That
humility
was
rooted
in
context;
Cooper
knew
very
well
that in
the
grand
scheme
of
things,
actors —
even
very
popular
ones —
don't
play a
very
essential
role in
the
betterment
of
society,
and that
luck
often
has as
much to
do with
success
as
skill.
But he
didn't
indulge
in
self-abasement,
which is
the
negative
aspect
of this
dragon.
He
didn't
feel a
need to
trivialize
his
achievements
or
apologize
for his
success.
Impatience
This
Dragon
looms
especially
large on
the
American
landscape,
as many
of us
feel
overwhelmed
with
having
too much
to do
and not
enough
time to
do it.
With
proper
control,
the
Dragon
of
Impatience
can be
very
motivational,
compelling
us to
make the
best use
of our
time and
work on
multiple
projects
at once.
The
negative
aspect
is
intolerance,
demanding
that the
world
operate
on our
schedule.
Martyrdom
The
positive
aspect
of the
Martyrdom
Dragon
is
selflessness,
taking
action
on
behalf
of
others
with no
thought
to
personal
gain.
The
negative
aspect
is
victimization:
sacrificing
one's
own
needs
and
wants,
becoming
a slave
to the
expectations
of
others
and
constantly
caving
in to
their
demands
— no
matter
how
inappropriate
or
outrageous.
GREED
This
Dragon
is
especially
well
known in
the
financial
services
industry,
and it
stalks
clients
as well
as
advisors.
Greed
can
compel
people
to want
more, to
improve
themselves,
and seek
to do
bigger
and
better
things.
If left
unchecked,
however,
Greed
can lead
to
insatiability
and even
miserliness.
Remember
Scrooge?
Leona
Helmsley?
Jeffrey
Skilling?
These
individuals
were
phenomenally
wealthy,
but
their
insatiable
appetite
for
money
prompted
them to
make
poor
decisions
for
which
they
paid a
very
high
price.
SELF-DESTRUCTION
This
Dragon
is a
more
extreme
variation
of the
Dragon
of
Martyrdom,
and is
one that
warrants
constant
vigilance.
Based on
the fear
that you
are
unworthy
of
success
and
nourished
by the
rationalization
that you
will not
succeed,
the
Dragon
of
Self-Destruction
will set
you up
for the
failure
that you
think
you
deserve.
How can
there
possibly
be an
upside
to this
Dragon?
It can
compel
you to
make
sacrifices
for the
benefit
of
others,
and put
their
needs
ahead of
your own
— which
at times
is
appropriate,
even
desirable.
But this
most
dysfunctional
of
Dragons
stands
on a
slippery
slope,
ready to
drag you
down to
the
point of
self-annihilation
if you
don't
keep a
careful
watch.
STUBBORNNESS
Burger
King
built a
successful
marketing
campaign
around
the
concept
of
having
it “your
way.” We
all like
to have
things
our way
—
preferably
all of
the time
— but
that
rarely
happens.
The
positive
aspect
of the
Dragon
of
Stubbornness
is
determination:
We
decide
upon a
course
of
action
and
stick
with it.
The
negative
aspect
is
obstinacy,
digging
in our
heels
and
refusing
to
deviate
from our
position
— even
when it
may be
in our
best
interest
to do
so. This
Dragon
draws
its
strength
from a
fear of
being
viewed
as weak
or
spineless
if we
allow
others
to
influence
our
decision-making,
or tell
us what
to do.
Managing
your
Dragons
means
recognizing
and
understanding
their
positive
pull as
well as
the
destructive
potential
of their
negative
pull. If
you know
your
Dragons,
you can
catch
them as
they
affect
you and
starve
them of
attention
before
you are
drawn
too deep
into
their
lairs.
